Are You a Good Partner?

//Are You a Good Partner?

Hi and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim The Couples Expert. Stuart is going to speak today about what it means to be a good partner in your relationship. About ways to assess if you’re being a good partner, and if your partner is being good to you. After all, it takes both of you contributing to the relationship in equal measure in order for you to have a true partnership where you both feel loved and important. 

Stuart talks about the life of his Mother in Law Lolita who passed away last week. Stuart always felt included and loved and was brought quickly into the family when he and Debbie married. She and her husband were married for 64 years. Stuart is dedicating this podcast to her memory.

We know there’s no perfect marriage. Every couple creates their own love story.What needs to be there is a passion for making your partner happy and for being the perfect partner for them. You see your partner’s happiness is as important (or more so) than your own.  Today Stuart will have you take a look at your own relationship, and what kind of partner you are in your own love story. Are you the right partner in your relationship? Let’s take a look.

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

  • The best partners make the relationship a top priority in their lives  7:35
  • Respect and consideration (sensitivity) for your partner’s feelings is more important that getting your way or winning an argument  8:39
  • Do you spend your time effort and energy on your relationship? What about romance and emotional connection? 11:58
  • The best partners let small issues go. Do you hold onto resentments and keep score? 14:24
  • What would conflict look like for you and your partner? 16:22
  • Why controlling your emotions is needed instead of getting angry, bringing up the past, threatening to divorce, or escalating an issue 18:24
  • Why you need to be a good listener. Are you hearing what your partner is trying to tell you ? 25:09
  • A good partner shares in and is supportive of what their partner is interested in 28:57
  • A good partner is affectionate and makes sure their partner’s needs for touch and sexuality are taken care of 31:00

All of these ingredients are here for each of you to evaluate your relationship and yourself as a partner. Would you give yourself a high score, or are you seeing some things you need to work on?

Take the Are you a good partner quiz!

Take the test for yourself and one for your partner. Then you both need to have a conversation about what it is about your relationship that can be improved. Don’t be critical, but be positive in learning that you can dedicate yourselves to improving the kind of partner you are to one another.

Thank you for joining us on The Couples Expert podcast. We’re glad you’re here. Come back next week for another episode with Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert.

Until then, be a good partner, and stay connected!

Sponsored by Stuarts daily notes: If you could improve your relationship in just 5 minutes a day, would you? I think you would. Stuart is offering his Stuart’s Daily Notes to subscribers to give you real tips and sound advice on being the best partners you can be. Learn more and subscribe here:

Subscribe: You can subscribe to The Couples Expert Podcast on iTunes. Stuart would love it if you’d write a review or suggest a future topic.

The Couples Expert Wants To Hear From You!

Email: You can email Stuart at and tell him about your relationship, ask questions or suggest a guest or future topic for the show. Stuart reads and responds to each and every email.

Thank you so much for spending part of your day with Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. We hope today’s show has been helpful and meaningful to you. Until next time, stay positive, and stay connected.


About the Author:

Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships. As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters. The Couples Expert Podcast consists of weekly provocative conversations offering the perspectives and insight of experts from a variety of relationship related fields. Stuart also offers daily relationship video tips on The Couples Expert YouTube channel and by subscription in Stuart's Daily Notes. Stuart is happily married and a devoted father of 2 daughters. His office practice serves the greater Phoenix, Arizona area including the cities of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, and Mesa.