Are there warning signs when your relationship is having problems? Yes! There are couples that come to see me in my Couples Expert office practice whose relationships have been going downhill for some time. Some of them are keenly aware of when exactly things started to go wrong but felt powerless to stop it. Many others are blissfully unaware of the warning signs that were present and on the average spend up to 6 years living in an unhappy relationship before seeking professional help for their marriage. Keep an eye out for these to help improve your relationship.

Imagine the amount of anger, pain and resentment you can save up in 6 years! The couples certainly have a long road back to finding a happy and close connected relationship again

This led me to think about some of the warning signs that occur when couples begin to have problems in order to make you aware and perhaps then you can get help before you spend ANY lonely and frustrated years in an unhappy relationship. These warning signs are just that. When you see this is happening, don’t wait, get help right away. Sure everyone can have a rough patch, but when you begin to see patterns and these same scenarios repeating it’s time to sit up and pay attention before you and your partner are in real trouble. 


  • Constant escalation of disagreements 
  • Lack of kindness in daily interactions
  • Rude, short, discounting, dismissive behavior
  • Feelings of resentment or loneliness
  • Living separate lives 
  • No sharing of loving feelings
  • Not talking about things that bother you
  • Problems in sex life
  • No humor or play
  • Broken promises or broken trust 
  • You just don’t know them anymore, personality changes

The good news is that when these things do happen they don’t have to spell an end to your relationship. If you and your partner both want to stay together and make it work, there are ways to make that happen. I’ve been helping couples to find their way for over 30 years now. It’s possible and realistic to think that your relationship doesn’t have to end if you are going through tough times and don’t know how to turn it around. 

Get some help from an emotionally based counselor that specializes in couples. Learn how to restructure and reframe your interactions from negative to positive. Treat each other with love and care, nurture your relationship and make it a priority again. 

Learn to communicate in ways that show one another you truly care for and love each other. There are very few marriages that cannot be saved if both parties are willing to work on them. This entails doing the inner work on yourself that will help you to grow into a person who can sustain a loving and emotional connection with another human being. There are few mistakes too great that cannot be rectified and no one is beyond help. 

Pay attention to those warning signs and watch for destructive or negative patterns in your relationship. Address them immediately and use the resources you have available to you in your city or town to find professional help to get you and your partner back on track.