Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast, with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 180 or our show. Today, Stuart talks about loving yourself despite betrayal in a relationship. Stuart will discuss 4 parts in today’s podcast:
- How do we really define what betrayal looks like in a relationship?
- What does the hurt look like, feel like, and what is the experience like?
- What are the long-term consequences of that?
- How do we recover from those hurts, and how do we move on?
Stuart just returned from a cruise to England, where he and his wife had a lovely holiday connecting and enjoying each other. He also spent some time thinking about this podcast, and specifically this episode.
What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:
- Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur Greetings [0:16]
- How do we trust again? [2:30]
- Can we really see ourselves as valuable in a relationship [3:50]
- How do we really define betrayal? [5:50]
- Your partner’s perception of you [14:00]
- Your partner becomes the means with which we define our world [15:15]
- What does the hurt really look like? [18:05]
- Am I lovable? (Emotionally focused therapy) [22:00]
- Separate yourself [25:00]
- Grieve for the lost relationship, without blame [27:00]
- Finding who you are [29:50]
- Healing from betrayal [33:40]
For many of us there are scars that we bring from our previous relationships. When we come from a significant relationship where there are betrayals, we have a difficult time trusting ourselves and our new partners. We have to find the silver lining. We have to choose happiness.
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Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at firstname.lastname@example.org