Date nights are critically important for any couples relationship. As we move towards being able to share space with strangers unmasked, I’d like to explore the idea of bringing back a regular date night for couples. Covid mask mandates are being dropped all around the country and public spaces are opening up again. Vaccination rates are higher and incidents of infection and hospitalizations are in a downward trend in many places.

The pandemic has changed the way we do date nights, and many couples have simply stopped prioritizing date night at all because, well, there wasn’t much they could do outside the home. Now that things are opening up again, I think it’s high time we reinstated date night at least once a month, if not weekly. I’ve always recommended date night for couples, and here’s why.

Sticking to a regular date night means you are prioritizing your partner and your relationship no matter what else is happening in your lives. It gives you something to look forward to during the week or month, and it breaks you out of the sameness of your regular routine. Planning regular date nights allows you to get creative and explore things you’ve been wanting to do, allows you to try out new restaurants and entertainment venues, and might even take you a little way out of your comfort zone to explore different cultural events and expand your horizons.

Going out

If you both feel comfortable going out in public again, get out there and have some fun. Dress to impress and make it like a real date. Go see a movie, go to a comedy club, have dinner at a local eatery then see some live music at a local club; dance! See a sporting event together. Meet for cocktails at a local hotel bar, then let your partner pick you up and bring you home. Make out in the car if you want to. It could be fun. Date nights should be something to remember.

If that’s all too much to process after so long in isolation, you can start small. Go to a bookstore, have coffee at a local cafe’. Meet up and just spend time enjoying each other’s company and a shared experience. Take a walk and people watch the nightlife in your city. You might find a place you want to duck into and have a drink or a bite to eat together. Take all the pressure off and just have a good time being together. Leave all the day-to-day stress behind and concentrate on one another. Relearn each other, and figure out how to create a new “normal” outside of what you’ve been dealing with since the pandemic hit. There should be no stress and no expectations, just explore being together as a couple without the demands of homelife and family.

Have conversations that don’t revolve around the children or your jobs. Talk about what you want to do on your  date nights. Brainstorm some ideas and see what you can come up with. Remember why you enjoy each other’s company and think back to what you used to do. Explore the memory of when and remember why you fell in love in the first place. Put your phones away or leave them behind for just a couple of hours and focus your energy on being with your partner. Stay out late, watch the sun rise. Simply be in the moment and devoted to each other to the exclusion of all else.

Staying in and staying safe

If it still just feels like it’s way too soon to be going out and mixing with people in public, or you need to protect a loved one that is medically fragile, don’t be discouraged. You can still make date night happen, you just need to be a little bit creative. Give yourselves the option to stay isolated from danger, while still enjoying each other’s company on a date night.

You can still go out, if you stay masked, or choose activities where you remain in your car. This allows you to take a drive, go to a scenic overlook, take a picnic, or pick up to-go food. Enjoy a meal together, or simply share a drive or a hike together. A walk on the beach or a drive to a secluded spot can be a wonderful way to enjoy a few hours together just concentrating on being together.

If you feel most comfortable staying in, date nights can still happen. The idea is to make the evening special and to do something out of your normal routine. You and your partner can switch off the responsibility for planning the evening, or you can plan it together.  This can mean the partner who cooks gets to have dinner made for them. Experiment with trying new foods and wine pairings as if you’re going to a restaurant, or have food delivered so that neither of you has to cook.  Try some new cocktail recipes or cook together. The whole idea is to have some fun, enjoy each other’s company and to do something out of the ordinary that feels special and exciting.

Game nights are also a fun way to spend a date night. A little friendly competition never hurts, and you and your partner can have a lot of fun trying to beat each other at your favorite games, or buy a new game for each date night, to keep it fresh.

If the weather is nice, enjoy your outdoor space, go stargazing or have a patio or pool party. Change it up and make it all about focusing your energy on enjoying each other’s company without all the stress and pressures of daily life.Even small things can be meaningful if you take the time and effort to plan your date night in. If you show up with wine and flowers, or your partner’s favorite foods or beverages; it shows that you’ve put some thought into planning the date.

Before your date night ends, you need to fix the date and plan for the next one. The day and time you choose should be set in stone, and treated as a priority, not something to be easily put off or rescheduled. Make it important. Not only is this great for your relationship with your partner, it’s a great example to set for your children.They will remember that their parents loved each other enough to make their special time together a priority on a regular basis.

 Expectations about sex

While sex can be a very real possibility on date night, it should not be the expected end result or focus of your time together. While for busy couples with children, it is sometimes necessary to schedule time for sex, date night is not necessarily the time to do that. The focus of date night is to be together, to converse, to share an experience together, to connect and to make memories with one another that you can look back on later with nostalgia and warm feelings. If a sexual encounter happens organically, then go with it, but don’t put pressure on your time together to “make it happen.”

Plan your date night based on non-sexual activities, stress the romantic, the sharing, and the notion of simply being together. If you prioritize this time together, you’ll reap untold rewards and you just might find a new perspective on your partner and your relationship. Happy date night!