Having healthy relationship goals should be your focus for your lifetime together and with everyone you encounter. I’m a relationship expert. I’ve helped countless couples over my career to learn how to love each other better. Under my counseling and mentorship they have learned how to undo negative patterns in their lives and how to reframe their interactions every day so they can be kinder, more grateful and more loving towards one another. They have gone from the brink of separation and divorce, to connecting with each other and loving each other more each day for life.
Our country and our world have had a lot of negative patterns emerge recently. There has been disease, economical collapse, political and civil unrest, racial violence and a rise in fear and aggression. Our relationships with our fellow humans have become tense and our interactions angry. Having healthy relationship goals is what your focus should be. At times I feel like our leaders have failed us, and we have failed our fellow citizens. People we know are sick and there seems to be division everywhere we look.
I think it’s time that we all made an effort to be better citizens and better human beings. We’ve allowed negative patterns and fear to dictate our actions. I feel like relationship advice that I teach can be applied to all of us everywhere. So here’s a little bit of The Couples Expert advice on being a good American and Global Citizen and on learning to love your fellow humans a little bit better. Helping all of us have more healthy relationships
- It’s not all about you. Look beyond your own experience and be open to learning about someone else’s. If you take the time to listen and learn, it may very well change your outlook on everything. I know that can be scary, but it’s worth it.
- Close your mouth and listen. People have varying experiences. We all have a story to tell. Listening to another’s story shows respect and compassion, and admitting you don’t know but want to know, this goes a very long way towards bringing people together.
- Don’t be a parrot. Repeating and retweeting information that may not be true, only serves to divide us further from our fellow humans. Do your own research, read and form your own opinions, don’t just parrot someone else’s party line. Use your mind and think. Is this tweet divisive? Will it allow people to hear and think about your point of view?
- Refuse to let outside forces divide us from our fellow humans. If you feel pressure to speak or act a certain way that does not resonate with you in your spirit, reject it. Don’t let ignorance be an excuse for wrong-thinking. If you’re unsure how to interact with a person who is different from you, ask them. If you are feeling scared, speak out. Chances are that other person is feeling just as scared. You’ll find we have more in common that you previously thought we did. I don’t understand how people can treat each other so poorly. They’re not debating a point of view but going for the jugular with character assassinations and then wondering why there is such disdain within certain groups of our society. Don’t you want a healthy relationship goal in your life take control of your interactions.
- Reach out to your fellow humans in a spirit of love. You won’t be sorry. Kindness is one of the basic ingredients of having a healthy relationship goal. You may be met with suspicion or with open arms. You will never know unless you take that chance.
- Everything is not political. Politics has a way of dividing us. We have a greater capacity for love and compassion for our fellow humans than simply adhering to a political slogan or idea. For example, you can still respect policeman, but not want them to murder innocent people of color. Your mind and heart have a greater capacity to cover and consider both sides of an argument. Who knows? You may just change your mind and that’s a great thing! This could absolutely change our world for the better. Wouldn’t that be some good relationship goals!
- We all deserve love and care. We should all want to protect those who are the most vulnerable in our society. Kindness means consideration for the least of us. Wear a mask to protect others while disease is rampant. It’s not anything to do with the Government, but it’s about compassion for your fellow humans.
There’s no way I have all the answers, but as a society, as humans, we can all be a part of solutions that help all of us, rather than a wedge that drives us apart.