Fathers Teach Your Children

 Throughout their formative years, fathers need to teach your children about relationships. You must show your daughters how men should treat women.  It’s vitally important that you men take this to heart and model kindness, love and respect towards your partners and spouses.  Don’t fool yourselves, your children are watching you and they are learning from you about how men should treat their partners.

The way your children, your daughters (and sons), perceive your relationship with your partner will inform the way they will expect to be treated, and yes, how they will treat their partners in their own adult lives. You are the first example of adult love relationships that they will see in their life. Fathers teach your children what love means, Later on, television, their friends’ parents and other adults will influence them, but studies have shown that children even as young as three years of age will parrot their parents behavior with other children in social situations and while at play.

Don’t be surprised, children are far more perceptive than you might realize. They are sensitive and intuitive enough to know if the atmosphere in your home is negative or positive. If there is an undercurrent of anger, worry or trouble in your home and you’re trying to hide it to protect the children, they are going to sense it.  It’s far better to keep your authentic feelings out in the open and to demonstrate healthy conflict resolution and respectful interactions between you and your partner. Children need to learn how healthy adult relationships work, and how to work together to solve your differences. This is where Fathers teach your children how to be kind, caring, romantic and loving to all people. 

If you don’t want to see your sons and daughters being treated poorly by their future partners, take this to heart. A good father will model loving and respectful behavior for their children. If you struggle with anger management or have issues with verbal or physical abuse I urge you to get professional help. Steer clear of your kids when you’re upset or angry and let them know you’re working on your problem. The last thing you want is to demonstrate unhealthy relationships. Break the pattern now, and give your kids a chance to grow up to understand and have healthy adult relationships. 

We all lose our temper sometimes. We get embroiled in snarky back and forth bickering with our partner too. It happens. The thing is, show your children that you’re not too proud to admit when you’re wrong, you’ve made a bad decision, and show them that it’s good to humble yourself and apologize when you’re in the wrong.  Don’t gloat when you’re right, and never be verbally abusive, personally insulting or harshly critical in the context of an argument. These are the things that make a lasting impression for good or ill on the young minds and emotions of your children. 






About the Author:

Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships. As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters. The Couples Expert Podcast consists of weekly provocative conversations offering the perspectives and insight of experts from a variety of relationship related fields. Stuart also offers daily relationship video tips on The Couples Expert YouTube channel and by subscription in Stuart's Daily Notes. Stuart is happily married and a devoted father of 2 daughters. His office practice serves the greater Phoenix, Arizona area including the cities of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, and Mesa.