Relationship Advice: Living With an Insecure Partner

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Are you living with an insecure partner? Here is some relationship advice on coping with an insecure partner. Do they question you and/or themselves about whether your relationship is working. Do they ask themselves if they’re good enough, if you’re right together?  Are they unsure if you are being faithful and suspect you might be looking to replace them in your life? 

There are many reasons why this might be an issue for your partner. They may have been in relationships in the past where they were treated poorly, made to feel unworthy, disrespected or cheated on. This has nothing to do with you. However,   you are the one who gets the fallout from that kind of past relationship injury. 

It can be tough to be that person and to try to love a partner who is always insecure and questioning.   They may be suspicious of you and worry that you’re cheating or going to cheat on them. Some relationship advice for you is to think about this. If you’re feeling the stress and anxiety of living with a partner who is insecure, imagine how they must feel. This can be devastating for any relationship

Your insecure partner is worried and fearful that you’re going to leave them. They fear they’ll be heart broken and alone, even if you are 100% committed to them in the relationship. You may constantly reassure them but they are so caught up in this cycle of negativity and worry. It seems that no amount of convincing seems to make a difference. It can put unbelievable pressure on a relationship and even cause it to implode from within.

STUART’S RECOMMENDATIONS

In my private practice the recommendation and relationship advice I offer is the following: Sometimes over time, fears and worry can be eased by the simple fact of you loving them and reassuring them that you’re still there, and are not planning on going anywhere. The more you come through for them, have their back and prove yourself to be true your behavior can have a positive impact on them. They may come to truly believe that you are in it for the long haul. Often a helpful tool is couples counseling to investigate the source of this and working directly on this with the help of a professional. 

Keeping your word and keeping your promises, living as transparent and communicative as possible is another step towards resolving your partner’s insecurities.   Building them up, being a cheerleader and an encourager is very helpful. However, if you are in a long-term relationship with a partner who, after considerable time has passed is still behaving this way the last kind of relationship advice I will give to you is consider counseling perhaps individual counseling as well. 

Your partner needs to work on him/her self and the two of you on the relationship. Go to an emotionally-focused counselor that specializes in couples and work on these insecurities. This can help you to reframe the worry and anxiety into positive interactions between you and set you on the path towards a happier and closer connection.  No matter the cause, you both will be the better for trying to work out these issues between you. 

 

 

Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships. As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters. The Couples Expert Podcast consists of provocative conversations offering the perspectives and insight of experts from a variety of relationship-related fields. Stuart also offers daily relationship video tips by subscription in Stuart’s Daily Notes. Stuart is happily married and a devoted father of 2 daughters. His office practice serves the greater Phoenix, Arizona area including the cities of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, and Mesa.

2020-09-16T18:21:20+00:00

About the Author:

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Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships. As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters. The Couples Expert Podcast consists of weekly provocative conversations offering the perspectives and insight of experts from a variety of relationship related fields. Stuart also offers daily relationship video tips on The Couples Expert YouTube channel and by subscription in Stuart's Daily Notes. Stuart is happily married and a devoted father of 2 daughters. His office practice serves the greater Phoenix, Arizona area including the cities of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, and Mesa.