If you’ve ever run up against an ultimatum in a dispute with your partner you know that it’s a no- win situation. Either you do things their way or suffer the consequences. To give in means you lose your ability to take a stand, and if you do push back, you risk losing it all. In some cases it’s a matter of pride, and to give in means to give away your standing as an equal partner in the relationship. Either way, it’s not a healthy dynamic.
Instead of putting your partner in a position where they have no choice, it’s far better to cultivate the art of compromise. Give each other room to express yourselves, and look at options to solve your issues that satisfy you both and put yourselves on the same side instead of locking horns in opposition.
When you have deep love and respect for one another there is no need for ultimatums that will drive a wedge between you. “My way or the highway” can only end badly for you both. So throw away that line of thinking and instead of positioning yourselves on opposite sides of a question, move over to your partner side; try to see things from their point of view, listen to what they have to say about it and try to find a way to common ground. Don’t forget, this is the person you want to spend your life with. They need to feel secure that their happiness is just as important as yours.
When you eliminate ultimatums and cultivate compromise, maintaining a loving relationship is easier to keep long term.