Valentine’s day – Be more loving

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I have a Valentine’s Day challenge for all you couples out there; not only for Valentine’s Day, but for every day. It’s really rather simple. Be more loving toward one another.  I’m not talking about any grand gestures or lavish gifts, but a simple shift in your daily interactions with your partner. Here are some ways that you can make this shift to be more loving with one another. It will be a challenge for some, and not so much for others that are already practicing this, but I would love for you to rise to the challenge! It’s a win-win for everyone. 

When you get up in the morning be more loving. Bring your partner a cup of coffee and make them breakfast. Make sure that neither of you leaves the house in the morning, no matter how rushed or late you are, without stopping for a moment to tell your partner that you love them, kissing them and embracing them goodbye.  This is a great habit to get into. You honestly never know what is going to happen in your day, and starting out with a loving interaction between the two of you will definitely set the tone for a good day for you both.

Call your partner when you break for lunch. Send a text message; something positive and encouraging about them. Tell them you’re looking forward to being back at home with them at the end of the day and you can’t wait to see them. Who doesn’t love getting a sweet and loving message in the midst of a busy workday? This is a simple way to be more loving and to remind your partner that you’re thinking of them when you’re apart. The text should not about a task or logistics but your personal loving feelings about them.

Do little things that you know will make a difference. If your partner is struggling, be a help. If your partner is worried and distracted, don’t act annoyed or put out, be more loving and offer to help. Offer to listen without judgement and don’t give advice unless it’s asked for.  If your partner is feeling overwhelmed by life, step in and take some of the burden off their shoulders. Approach the subject in a loving way and come up with options and strategies to help ease their load.

Be more loving in the way to speak, your tone of voice and your body language. Take the time to pay attention, giving your undivided focus to your partner. Make eye contact and listen actively. This is a great gift. Say something kind and loving to your partner every chance you get. Encourage and uplift them, you might be the only one who does. Compliment them sincerely and let them know how appreciative and grateful you are to have them in your life.

Be more loving in the way you act around your partner. A simple touch, a hug, a warm embrace and loving kiss speaks more than words ever will.  We tend to take for granted that proximity to each other is just normal. Make that closeness an opportunity to be more loving to one another. Sit together, snuggle together, hold hands and stay close. Non sexual touching makes us feel closer to our partner and gives us a warm and loving feeling. 

It really comes down to both of you showing love and gratitude for the great gift of having that person in your life. If you and your partner can be more loving, you can only grow closer and happier together. Happy Valentine’s Day from The Couples Expert.


About the Author:

Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships. As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters. The Couples Expert Podcast consists of weekly provocative conversations offering the perspectives and insight of experts from a variety of relationship related fields. Stuart also offers daily relationship video tips on The Couples Expert YouTube channel and by subscription in Stuart's Daily Notes. Stuart is happily married and a devoted father of 2 daughters. His office practice serves the greater Phoenix, Arizona area including the cities of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, and Mesa.