Agree to Disagree

I talk a lot about making your relationship a priority, putting your partner’s happiness ahead of other things that are important to you. Can you and your partner put aside your differences and agree to disagree?  

A lot of strife in relationships is caused by the inability or unwillingness of one person to give in, concede a point to the other or to allow the other person to be “right” if they disagree.  This can lead to escalating arguments, negative feelings and a confrontational attitude between two people who profess to love each other. 

I’m not just talking about big things, major issues or world views. This can be something seemingly insignificant, and before you know it it’s been blown way out of proportion and neither of you willing to give an inch or walk it back to a reasonable point, where compromise or resolution can happen. 

I’d prefer it if there were no battles, but I still advise you to pick your battles. Don’t bother arguing over something that you know you cannot resolve. Instead, agree to disagree and restore harmony in your home and in your relationship.  I’m not saying that you shouldn’t state what you feel strongly about or you shouldn’t listen to your partner and take what they say to heart; I’m suggesting that you listen, validate their feelings, but don’t make it into an argument. 

There’s a misconception that all couples must feel the same way about everything, or they’re not compatible. This cannot be further from reality. It’s perfectly acceptable for you and your partner to have completely different views. Different is not wrong, it’s merely different. You and your partner are not the same person, so why would you be expected to think or feel the same about everything? 

Agree to disagree. Compromise if you must to keep the peace.  Make your relationship and your partner’s happiness more important than the issues that can threaten to divide you. 


About the Author:

Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships. As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters. The Couples Expert Podcast consists of weekly provocative conversations offering the perspectives and insight of experts from a variety of relationship related fields. Stuart also offers daily relationship video tips on The Couples Expert YouTube channel and by subscription in Stuart's Daily Notes. Stuart is happily married and a devoted father of 2 daughters. His office practice serves the greater Phoenix, Arizona area including the cities of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, and Mesa.