Keep Your Connection Strong

Every relationship goes through changes and seasons of feeling closer and less close, but must you grow apart? What if there was a way to keep your connection strong and emotionally close so that you never feel like you’re growing apart? There is, and it’s nothing new or drastic. It’s a series of daily activities and interactions that keep your connection strong and keep you and your partner close and in touch.

Quality time

I recommend to my couples that they plan outings, date nights and trips together. Quality time is time that you intentionally set aside to work on your relationship. It doesn’t have to mean going out, but should include blocks of time that is specifically earmarked as “couple time”. There should be no work talk, parenting talk or cellphone distractions; this is your time, it’s all about you and your partner connecting, appreciating each other and being together.

Play together

Play time is quality time. If you and your partner enjoy a hobby, gaming or sporting event together you can have a great deal of fun, healthy competition, physical activity, and enjoyment together. If you don’t have the same hobbies, play together in other ways. Lots of couples enjoy goofing around, teasing, pranking and just having fun. Humor and laughter are key components to a happy and close relationship.

Stay together

Don’t give up when times get tough. Instead of isolating or pulling away, that is the time for the two of you to draw close to each other and work together through the hard times. It’s easy to feel like walking away when things are hard, to give up and feel helpless. This is the time to dig down deep and push through it. Your relationship is not only worth it, but this is a necessary element to a healthy and exceptional relationship.

You must do what it takes to stay emotionally connected. You have to be the person in the relationship that does the hard work. If you both do this you will come out the other side a healthier and happier couple. If you and your partner can pull together and make it through the hard times, sharing each other’s burdens and sorrows, you can come out stronger and closer on the other side.

Explore intimacy

It’s important for couples to connect sexually and be intimate both emotionally and physically. Allowing your partner to see you at your most authentic and vulnerable moments is what makes your connection strong. There’s a great deal of trust involved in opening yourself up to another human on the deepest, most vulnerable level. When you and your partner can make and maintain these deep connections you will grow closer.

Make memories

Avoid routines and ruts in the road. Make sure that you and your partner do new things, go places you’ve never been together, and make memories together. When you do this, you have both something to look forward to, and something to look back upon in the future. These shared experiences will help keep your connection strong.

Talk about everything that matters

You and your partner should not only be able to talk about everything that is important to you, but also to be good and attentive listeners that will give each other your full attention. Even if you don’t think the subject is as important as your partner does, you need to be able to set your opinions aside and attend to your partner. If it’s important to them it should be important to you. Don’t discount your partners feelings by passing it off as unimportant. This is the cause of hurt feelings and can develop resentments between you. Communication is a two-way street and both of you deserve equal time and attention .

These are basic ingredients for a strong connection. If you try, do your utmost to help each other feel important and loved, and that you have a secure place by your partner’s side, you are on the right track. Give your relationship extra time and attention whenever possible to nurture and care for it and to keep it healthy and strong, just as you would another person that you care about. Your relationship cannot thrive without special care and devotion. Love alone, is not enough. We’re all so busy with our lives that we can forget this simple fact. Relationships cannot  thrive in a void. You must continue to infuse your relationship with loving interactions, devotion, time and energy, not only when you’re dating, but in all the time you are together from your first date until the  end.


About the Author:

Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships. As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters. The Couples Expert Podcast consists of weekly provocative conversations offering the perspectives and insight of experts from a variety of relationship related fields. Stuart also offers daily relationship video tips on The Couples Expert YouTube channel and by subscription in Stuart's Daily Notes. Stuart is happily married and a devoted father of 2 daughters. His office practice serves the greater Phoenix, Arizona area including the cities of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, and Mesa.