Are you living your life or are you phoning it in? Simply existing, waiting for…what? Remember when you and your partner were young and in love? The feeling of passion for being together, the hunger for each other’s touch; how you couldn’t wait to hear your lover’s voice?

That passion may have been pushed to the background temporarily, but it’s possible to renew your passion and reclaim those feelings of excitement, wonder and appreciation for the things that you’ve come to take for granted.

Some people feel very comfortable in their routines; but in my opinion, that’s a passion-killer. When there’s nothing new, nothing exciting, or unexpected coming into your life, that can feel boring and you can even begin to worry if this is all that life has to offer, and will it ever be more?  

The answer to that question is “No”. Your life will be whatever you settle for. It will never be more fulfilling or more passionate than it is right now; unless you change it!

Studies show that it only takes 30 days to create a new habit. Think of that. If you and your partner are in a boring and lifeless relationship, you can change it! Life never has to be boring or routine. You can start today to change the dynamic in your relationship with your partner and within 30 days you can be out of your rut and onto a more passionate and exciting journey together. Why not start today?

When I speak of passion, I’m not referring only to sexual passion between you and your partner, but sexual passion is part of renewing the excitement in your life. The passion I refer to is a passion for all areas of your life; for everything. This comes from gratitude.  When you begin to feel the gratitude of living a wonderful life with a wonderful partner, you will start to feel that spark of wonder and thankfulness constantly. Your job, your hobbies, your children and your relationship will all begin to thrive in a more fulfilling way for everyone. When you start to see your life through the lens of gratitude, everything changes.

So where do you start to find this passion? Where does the gratitude come from? It comes from the realization that our time on Earth is short. We never know from one day to the next if we’ll even be here next week or next month. The time is now. Wake up in the morning and think about all the good things you’re fortunate to have in your life, including your partner.  Take a moment and feel that gratitude. Say it out loud to your partner. When you start to look for things to be grateful for, you will find many. Say it with WORDS AND ACTIONS.

Every day you get is a new chance to have a wonderful and passionately loving relationship with your partner and your family, and your life. Things will begin to look different when you see them through the eyes of gratitude.  You’ll begin to feel a renewed passion for living. Loving your partner is a privilege and a blessing. Be grateful for that. Feel the passion in your soul that moves you when you’re with that person.  Feel the passion when you see that sunrise or sunset; the beauty of an unspoiled landscape or a sunny cloudless day. You begin to notice things that you previously took for granted and now they are so vivid and impactful to you. Look for the small things as well and make those meaningful to you.

Living your life with passion will be a game changer for all of your relationships including your love relationship with your partner. Remember, it only takes 30 days to create a habit, and this habit will transform your life.  Living with passion is really living! The time is now. Life is short. There’s always something to be grateful for.


Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters.