//The Reason We Cheat, Stuart Tells All – Encore

This is an Encore Presentation, this podcast originally aired in January of 2018. 

Hello and welcome to this episode of The Couples Expert with your host Stuart Fensterheim. We’re glad you’ve joined us today.  Stuart is discussing a troubling topic today; infidelity.

All of Stuart’s work centers around creating and maintaining healthy couple relationships. He believes that this is truly the cornerstone of a healthy society as a whole. Healthy relationships passed down from parents who model them for their children create generations of healthy relationships and a healthier society overall. Infidelity, whether it be sexual, emotional or even financial in nature, breaks down the connection and the trust that’s needed to keep the relationship healthy and happy. It’s his belief that infidelity causes some of the most severe relationship injuries that exist.  

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

  • Infidelity destroys families and destroys connections 4:03
  • Infidelity creates personal emotional trauma 10:20
  • Men and women approach infidelity differently 14:22
  • Strip clubs, massage parlors and prostitution are a factor 16:24
  • Reasons why men cheat 18:05
  • Women have different reasons to cheat  22:02
  • A return to attachment is needed 23:03

If you find yourself attracted to someone else, it’s time for you to go to your partner and say,  ”We’re in trouble.” It’s hard to hear, but better than telling them that you’re having an affair. Deal with the issue of your unmet needs before you make the decision to go outside the relationship to have your needs met.

The emotional damage that emotional and sexual affairs cause is painful as any relationship injury that you can go through. With professional help you can reshape and recreate your relationship into a close and connected bond that would not be susceptible to an affair.

If infidelity is a factor in your relationship please get professional help from a qualified counselor who uses an attachment model to assist you and your partner to recover and heal from this terrible relationship injury. It’s a tough road back and that’s why therapy is needed. You can get through this dark chapter and on to a better life where you’re secure and attached, and not vulnerable to this type of relationship injury in the future.


This Podcast is Sponsored by: Hold Me Tight Workshops- The 2 Days and 7 Conversations Weekend. This is a two day couples workshop held monthly and facilitated by Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW. Couples learn the right conversations to have with one another and gain a deeper understanding of what they need to feel loved and important to their partner. Register now for March 2019:  

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The Couples Expert Wants To Hear From You!

Email: You can email Stuart at and tell him about your relationship, ask questions or suggest a guest or future topic for the show. Stuart reads and responds to each and every email.

Thank you so much for spending part of your day with Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. We hope today’s show has been helpful and meaningful to you. Until next time, stay positive, and stay connected.