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Welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode number 170 of our show. This week, Stuart is joined by guest Mickie Zada, who runs the Surviving Abuse Network. Mickie left her abusive marriage 16 years ago after over 30 years of abuse. She helps women get out of abusive situations and begin to heal.

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

  • We can live in denial of abuse for a very long time 1:41
  • There’s so much trauma that women in abuse hold onto 3:48
  • It can all look perfect from the outside. It’s a facade 7:54
  • Emotional abuse is dramatically worse than physical abuse 9:20
  • Be open with your kids about the abusive behavior to educate them what is right and wrong 11:19
  • Shame and guilt are a part of the cycle and why victims don’t talk about abuse in their lives 13:38
  • Fear of walking away with nothing can keep women from fighting back 16:40
  • Financial abuse – When the abuser is controlling access to the money is a big red flag 17:47

Men are also being abused, there’s so much shame that goes with that. This is not Mickie’s area of expertise, as she deals primarily with women. Perhaps that is a discussion for another time?

Write Stuart with your comments and questions to: podcast@thecouplesexperts.com

Recovery is possible with a great deal of personal work and personal growth.

“If we don’t change, nothing changes” – Your outlook and perspective have to change so your choices can change. Resist going back to your abuser!

Free support, free information and education is available to learn how to make healthy choices in future relationships. Professionals can help us see who we are. We need the perspective of counselors and coaches to help us see beyond our own experiences.

Thank you so much to Mickie Zada for taking the time to share with our listeners and to all of you for spending part of your day with The Couples Expert.

Contact Mickie at www.survivingabusenetwork.com  

Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2

Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com

How to Talk About the Hard Stuff

Connecting with your partner isn’t always easy. Here are tips on How to Talk About the Hard Stuff.

Click here to Access the Free Giveaway

Next Week on The Couples Expert Podcast

Join Stuart next week on The Couples Expert for a discussion about truth and lies. The impact of deceit on your love relationship is huge. Listen in as Stuart discusses what it means to live in an authentic relationship with your partner.

Explore Additional Points

From the outside that family seems perfectly normal. Husband, wife and a couple of kids in an upper middle-class neighborhood. You may be their neighbor or a co-worker of the wife.Maybe your kids attend the same school and you see her when you drop off or pick them up.  Lately though, something’s changed in her. She seems more quiet, withdrawn and has a wary and watchful look about her. The other day you saw her flinch when a friend touched her on the shoulder. It’s got you thinking that something may be wrong. She seems so skittish. Then you hear the news. They had a big fight outside in the front yard last night. Her husband was yelling and calling her every name in the book. Witnesses say he pulled her hair and pushed her down on the ground, kicking her before he stormed away, leaving her sobbing in the yard.

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JOIN THE CONVERSATION

My favorite part of doing these podcasts is participating in the conversations they provoke. Each week I present one question, and this week, here is our focus: Question: What is an area in your life that has been impacted by your relationship with your partner?

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If you have a question, comment, thought, or concern, feel free to comment below. We’d love to hear from you!