//It Isn’t Your Fault – Surviving Domestic Abuse with guest Mickie Zada

Welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode number 170 of our show. This week, Stuart is joined by guest Mickie Zada, who runs the Surviving Abuse Network. Mickie left her abusive marriage 16 years ago after over 30 years of abuse. She helps women get out of abusive situations and begin to heal.

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

  • We can live in denial of abuse for a very long time [1:41]
  • There’s so much trauma that women in abuse hold onto [3:48]
  • It can all look perfect from the outside. It’s a facade [7:54]
  • Emotional abuse is dramatically worse than physical abuse [9:20]
  • Be open with your kids about the abusive behavior to educate them what is right and wrong [11:19]
  • Shame and guilt are a part of the cycle and why victims don’t talk about abuse in their lives [13:38]
  • Fear of walking away with nothing can keep women from fighting back [16:40]
  • Financial abuse – When the abuser is controlling access to the money is a big red flag [17:47]

Men are also being abused, there’s so much shame that goes with that. This is not Mickie’s area of expertise, as she deals primarily with women. Perhaps that is a discussion for another time?

Write Stuart with your comments and questions to:

Recovery is possible with a great deal of personal work and personal growth.

“If we don’t change, nothing changes” – Your outlook and perspective have to change so your choices can change. Resist going back to your abuser!

Free support, free information and education is available to learn how to make healthy choices in future relationships. Professionals can help us see who we are. We need the perspective of counselors and coaches to help us see beyond our own experiences.

Thank you so much to Mickie Zada for taking the time to share with our listeners and to all of you for spending part of your day with The Couples Expert.

Contact Mickie at  

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