Who knows where the money goes? Do you feel like your spouse goes shopping and you end up holding the bag? There’s a whole world of shopping out there that many people never know about, but savvy spouses learn to cope with, more for survival and sanity, out of necessity.

Maybe it’s you and not your spouse who is the shopper, and you devote the majority of your free time to couponing, yard sale or internet shopping. You’ve got to spend money to save money, right? That’s the theory anyway. You are always discovering new ways to save, and trying out new products that you had to buy, because, well, you had a coupon, didn’t you?

Knowing what kind of shopper you and your partner are can alleviate stress in the relationship. If you’re not sure, or this is a new relationship you may not yet know how this whole shopping issue is going to affect your relationship.  Here we’ll explore how the different types of shoppers operate. Hopefully you can gain some insight into how to handle the issue without allowing it to have a negative impact on your relationship.

What kind of shopper are you?

Grab and dash – This kind of shopper knows what they want and has a plan before they even enter the parking lot. They are going to go directly to the item(s) they need to purchase, grab it and get to the check-out. There is no browsing or actual shopping involved. This is a matter of “get what you need and get out of there! “ It’s even better if there’s a self-checkout so they can finish up even more quickly.

The Aisle Scanner – Spouses need infinite patience (or a good book to read) with this kind of shopper. They calmly get a cart and go up and down each and every aisle, pulling the things from their list, but inevitably, will find other items they cannot live without. This shopping trip might last for hours, so eat before you leave home and be prepared to wander.

The Coupon Clipper – Often will also be the Yard/Estate Sale Shopper. This shopper is always bargain hunting and may use up an entire tank of gas going from sale to sale.  Your living room looks like confetti from all the coupons clipped and you end up taste testing and trying out new product. This shopper has an open mind and doesn’t mind opening their wallet to buy 4 to save $2. You have to keep an eye on your spending when you’re this type of shopper. It’s easy to nickel and dime yourself into too much month at the end of your money. However, a good couponer can really save a lot of money on monthly grocery expenses which is great for families with growing kids.

Amazon Queen – When your UPS delivery driver knows you by name, you may have an Amazon Queen (or King) at home.  This kind of shopper spends all their free time on the Internet looking for something they cannot live without. Free shipping makes this practice all that more attractive, and the fact that you don’t have go anywhere to do it is appealing to introverts and the socially awkward. The convenience of online shopping can be a tender trap. Keep a tight rein on yourself to avoid this becoming an addiction. No, seriously this can get away from you if you’re not careful.

Bulk or Bust – The big box stores are the draw for this shopper.  We might need our own storage unit to store all the bulk goods that our big box shopper brings home. A year’s worth of toilet paper and 5 bottles of laundry detergent? Who needs it? This shopper may have a tendency to hoard against the day that there is no more toilet paper on the planet! You may need a pickup truck to cart everything home.

While this is all meant to be fun, there is an element of seriousness here.  Money problems add stress to your relationship, so beware. If you have (or are) a shopper in the family, you have to be careful that you’re always discussing the state of your finances, and how much money from your joint budget can be allocated for groceries and miscellaneous shopping. Allow each other to have an agreed-upon amount that can be spent however you choose. You don’t need to ask permission under a certain dollar amount. Anything (set in stone) that you want to purchase that’s over that dollar amount has to be discussed.  This avoids the pitfalls of overspending, and the possibilities for financial infidelity, lies, keeping secrets, etc. that can cause huge problems in your relationship.

Keep an eye out for warning signs, but have fun shopping and sharing with each other all the great things you’ve found to make your life better together.