Too Late to Fall

You may think it just can’t happen for you, it’s just not in the cards. Maybe you’ve had a few (or more than a few) relationships that haven’t worked out. You may be divorced, have grown kids or be a widow or widower. You’ve given up on the idea that you’ll never find a person to spend the rest of your life with. You might think that you’re too old, too set in your ways, or unattractive to have anyone fall in love with you. I’m here to tell you, you couldn’t be more wrong.  Love happens often when you’re not looking for it, when you least expect it and no matter your age, your income level or your physical appearance, you deserve love in your life. 

You have to embrace the idea that you deserve to have a love relationship with a special person and open your heart up to the possibilities in order for it to happen. If you never leave your house, always travel in the same social circles and never meet anyone new, how can you find love? It will happen for you if you make some small changes to your regular routine and stay open to the idea. 

If you’re someone who has been through some tough break ups in the past, this idea may be a little daunting. Nobody wants to be hurt or rejected so we close ourselves off to allowing someone to get in close enough to hurt us. You have to allow people in or you may never know if they are the one you might be missing out on.  You have to take big risks to find big rewards. In this case, you risk being vulnerable to another person and being hurt in order to find happiness.

You may also have to adjust your idea of who your ideal mate will be, and let things happen organically. If you have rigid expectations of perfection, no one can live up to that. Instead, take people for who and what they are, and see what happens naturally. You may be surprised that someone you may not have considered as your “type” may actually be a wonderful match and fit perfectly into your life. 

For widows and widowers, finding love can be further complicated by the fact that you had a wonderful and loving partner whom you lost.  You must come to grips with the fact that no one is going to be” just like them” and any relationship that you form will be completely different and stand on its own merit. You’ll never be able to replace your lost love, so don’t even try. Know instead that your partner would want you to be happy and find love again. For many widows and widowers of a certain age, they don’t know how not to be coupled up in life. This can be extremely lonely. Beware of falling too far too fast. Instead, take your time and build a relationship that’s based on friendship, attraction and true emotional connection. 

Make friends with potential partners. Go on lots of dates. Not just night time dates, but coffee dates, lunch dates, go do activities that you enjoy together. Take your time to get to know people and see if they really do have the potential to be important in your life. Remember that you’re in control of how fast or slow the relationship develops. You want to be with someone who can be your companion and best friend, but who also ticks all the other boxes on your list of a suitable partner.  

Finding love later in life requires that we step out of our comfort zone a bit. We have to be more social, more outgoing, open ourselves to new people and new experiences.  When you resolve to open yourself to the possibility of a love relationship in your life, you’ll be astounded to see what happens next. Having an open mind and an open heart is the key to realizing it’s never too late to fall in love.

2019-07-18T19:25:57+00:00

About the Author:

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Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships. As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters. The Couples Expert Podcast consists of weekly provocative conversations offering the perspectives and insight of experts from a variety of relationship related fields. Stuart also offers daily relationship video tips on The Couples Expert YouTube channel and by subscription in Stuart's Daily Notes. Stuart is happily married and a devoted father of 2 daughters. His office practice serves the greater Phoenix, Arizona area including the cities of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, and Mesa.