When you meet your partner and you first fall in love you have that drive to be together as often as possible. You’re together nights, weekends, early mornings, days off, etc. You crave the presence of your partner in all your waking moments. When you’re apart you anticipate being together and you do absolutely everything together. You work out, you shop, you watch movies; you are joined at the hip at home and socially. Then after some time passes there’s a shift. Suddenly you’re begging off to stay home from the bike ride or the hike. You tell him he should go with his friends to the bar and you’ll see your girlfriends for a movie date. Does that mean you are not as deeply in love? Do you need to be together 24/7?
Love is an experience of oneness. We get so close to our partners and then we get comfortable. We feel secure and we feel safe then to pull away a bit without the worry that we’ll lose that connection we’ve been building. It’s not a bad thing that you both want to spend time on your own or with your own friends or family. It’s more of a validation that you feel that you and your partner are equally committed to one another and that you both feel secure enough in the relationship to be able to spend some time apart. That’s not to say that you should not spend time together. You should actively court each other and work on your relationship daily. You can also spend time apart with confidence that you and your partner are still building a relationship that will last; reconnecting afresh, feeling the love that the two of you share.