DOES ONLINE DATING PREPARE FOR MARRIAGE

/, new couples/Marriage Counseling: Does Online Dating Prepare for Marriage?

online dating prepare for marriage

Does online dating prepare for marriage? How can you maximize your chances of finding THE ONE through an online dating service? We know it can be done, because millions of people have found lasting love with someone they met online. Online dating helps with finding a compatibility match and weeds out the unsuitable candidates for your affections. You put up your online profile and if you’re honest, your chances of it being viewed by like-minded people are very good.

The more people you meet and talk to the more you refine your choices. It’s almost like an interview process for employment. That’s in effect what you’re doing. You’re interviewing for the position of your life mate. If you treated the preliminary weeding out process like a job interview, I wonder if you’d make the same choices.

Each resume is interesting, but physical characteristics from photos are also intriguing. You need physical attraction to your future mate as well emotional attraction. You want a relationship that will be a solid friendship too. Still, you don’t want to treat them like they’re in a competition, even though anyone on a dating site knows that’s a factor. They know the inherent risk of being rejected by someone in favor of someone else. That’s the way the game is played. It’s different too, if you’re just wanting to date rather than find a spouse or life mate. Some people who are in online dating sites are looking for casual dates, sex and hook ups. They’re not interested in long term. That you are looking for long term has to be known up front with no confusion. The people who don’t match will eliminate themselves.

does online dating prepare for marriageOnline dating helps you identify and really define what you want and don’t want in a potential mate. You might be drawn to a smile, but find a quality that you don’t admire. You might be intrigued by the interests someone shows, or hobbies they have only to find they’re too competitive to be a love match. You don’t need more than a few face to face dates to know whether or not you’re attracted to that person and that they are the authentic person they represented themselves to be to you online. Honesty and straightforwardness is so important if you’re dating to find your future spouse.

You want to let that friendship and attraction develop organically and see where it takes you. You can’t be in too much of a hurry to add or eliminate anyone from contention. Some people struggle socially and that‘s why they look for dates online. Things might be painfully awkward for your first few conversations, but if there’s a spark of interest there, you owe it to yourself to allow that person to become comfortable enough with you to be him or herself with you. We all put on our best face to make a good impression when we meet someone new. It takes a while before you can really be yourself. It’s a risk to be vulnerable to someone that you want to like you but I can’t stress strongly enough that you have to show your authentic self to someone in order to make that authentic connection.

Authenticity is not going to happen overnight. So many people want to rush a connection. It takes time. There is no need to rush it. Friendships include many experiences, different kinds of adventures; learning about one another. Does the person like holding hands, do they enjoy thrill seeking experiences, what are their families like? Do they like kids, are they the kind who long to go strolling at night or are they a couch potato? Is physical health important or is junk food all they want? All of these questions should be answered. What are they like when they are really mad at you? Is it scary or is positive affirmation still present? Having an authentic relationship means talking about all these things including compatibility in the sexual area. So many people forget that a lifelong romance includes when things are going right. Is kindness at all times part of the picture? This is what needs to be investigated don’t forget, a life time really is about staying in love forever. Online dating is just the beginning once you meet the rest is up to the two of you. Take advantage of this opportunity but make it real.

A good relationship has a strong foundation in friendship, respect, fun and intimacy.  A great relationship builds on that foundation to create a connection between two people that makes each other an extension of themselves and partners in the truest sense of the word. A true love to last a lifetime can be found anywhere. Online dating sites are a good place to start looking.

Subscribe to My YouTube Channel

Ask Me a Question

If you have a question, comment, thought, or concern, feel free to comment below. We’d love to hear from you!

2017-03-31T23:23:11+00:00

About the Author:

mm
Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships. As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters. The Couples Expert Podcast consists of weekly provocative conversations offering the perspectives and insight of experts from a variety of relationship related fields. Stuart also offers daily relationship video tips on The Couples Expert YouTube channel and by subscription in Stuart's Daily Notes. Stuart is happily married and a devoted father of 2 daughters. His office practice serves the greater Phoenix, Arizona area including the cities of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, and Mesa.

Leave A Comment