Marriage Counseling: Couple Counseling not just for problems

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Every couple has their ups and downs. Couple counseling is not just for problems. You might be surprised to know that couples that are doing well managing their lives together can also benefit from seeing a couples counselor. Research shows that the average couple waits approximately 6 years before seeking help for their relationship issues. That’s a long time to be in pain and strife! Many of the couples I see wait until they’ve reached the end of their ability to cope and their problems are so difficult. The truly sad part is, they needn’t have waited so long If they had sought help in the beginning, when their relationship was going well, they could have avoided so much hurt and pain.


There are chapters and phases in life that we go through. They all bring their own unique set of challenges. The newlywed phase where you’re adjusting to living with someone; starting a family, raising growing children all the way through the “empty nest’ phase. These life changes all bring different stresses and challenges to your relationship. The key to keeping your relationship healthy and happy is to continue to work on the relationship and not just expect it to take care of itself. You always want to improve your connection with your partner and make your relationship better. A couples counselor can help you do that. A few sessions with a relationship counselor can help you identify areas of concern but can also give you tools and information about how you can keep making your relationship better as you go through life’s challenges. The sooner you get some counseling, the sooner you can get back on the right track with your relationship.

If I could go back in time and talk to disconnected couples, and what l tell new couples in my practice is don’t wait to get some advice until you have a problem you can’t solve. Go to premarital counseling and talk about your expectations and hopes for the relationship. Then check back in the first year of marriage. Talk about how things are going, where you’re feeling great about your relationship and where you think you could improve it.


Think of your relationship counselor as a family resource, not a last resort. Use your resource to help you sort out your big life changes, to help you set realistic goals for your life and relationships. Don’t wait until things get unmanageable. If you get a “well-check” for your relationship periodically, they probably won’t get that way.

You don’t put a hundred thousand miles on your car without having a tune up done, brakes inspected or the oil changed, do you? Why would you go along in your relationship without making sure it’s “roadworthy?” Everyone has struggles, everyone has stress and gets triggered sometimes, that‘s to be expected. It’s the way we react with our partner and the things we do and say when that happens that’s important. Your relationship counselor can prepare you to help handle the rough roads in life together.

A weekend relationship workshop can make such a difference just by devoting the time to the relationship. When is the last time the two of you devoted that kind of focus to a relationship? Many people don’t even do that on their honeymoon! If you know that you’re loved and important and secure in your life with your partner, you will feel better-equipped to handle all of the curveballs that life throws your way. Get a relationship check-up periodically and give your relationship a clean bill of health!

The Couples Experts offer an annual relationship check- up for you to get a sense of where you are in your relationship. This is a great tool for you to use to asses your partnership. Go to for more information.

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